so, in times square people stand there and hand out flyers to all of the people passing by. usually we just say, "no thanks," but sometimes we say this...
guy handing out flyers for a free comedy show: hey, do you guys like stand-up comedy?
me: no, we hate laughing.
guy handing out flyers for a free comedy show: (silence)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
sorry
I am really sorry about all of the recent cursing.
I have been hanging out with the "wrong crowd".
And by "wrong crowd", I mean Michael and Jeremy.
Although, as most of you know, I firmly believe curse words are man-made and deemed "bad" by man. And that's stupid.
Philosophical thought: What is right and wrong?
Thought: What is inappropriate?
Don't let your kids read this blog. Unless they are sailors, like me.
I have been hanging out with the "wrong crowd".
And by "wrong crowd", I mean Michael and Jeremy.
Although, as most of you know, I firmly believe curse words are man-made and deemed "bad" by man. And that's stupid.
Philosophical thought: What is right and wrong?
Thought: What is inappropriate?
Don't let your kids read this blog. Unless they are sailors, like me.
*please note the hula hoop behind me. yeah, it hangs on our wall. michael is quite the gay designer. he is available for hire.
a song
a song about two roommates getting fucked:
"I got fucked by your situation.
I got fucked by association."
"I got fucked by your situation.
I got fucked by association."
a poem
I love K.
And by K, I mean Tina.
And by Tina, I mean Fey.
And by Fey, I mean Fairy.
And by Fairy, I mean Faggot.
And by Faggot, I mean Cigarette.
And by Cigarette, I mean Camel.
And by Camel, I mean Desert.
And by Desert, I mean Dessert.
And by Dessert, I mean Where Is My Fucking Cake?
I really like that band.
-by: Michael & Coby
And by K, I mean Tina.
And by Tina, I mean Fey.
And by Fey, I mean Fairy.
And by Fairy, I mean Faggot.
And by Faggot, I mean Cigarette.
And by Cigarette, I mean Camel.
And by Camel, I mean Desert.
And by Desert, I mean Dessert.
And by Dessert, I mean Where Is My Fucking Cake?
I really like that band.
-by: Michael & Coby
baltimore 11/01-11/04
Michael and I are coming home Thursday (and by home I mean Baltimore incase you're retarded).
Oh, we might also bring our new roommate, Jeremy.
If you think we're crazy, just get ready for this one.
Jesus!
And speaking of Jesus, Michael won't let the 3 of us dress up as Jesus, Mary, and Joseph for Halloween. I just think it would be pretty funny.
But it's ok for Michael to suggest that Jeremy dress up as Jesus and carry a crutch and say he's "Christ on a crutch". :)
We will post a picture of Jeremy soon (and his best friend, Pussy Surprise).
If he lets us.
Oh, we might also bring our new roommate, Jeremy.
If you think we're crazy, just get ready for this one.
Jesus!
And speaking of Jesus, Michael won't let the 3 of us dress up as Jesus, Mary, and Joseph for Halloween. I just think it would be pretty funny.
But it's ok for Michael to suggest that Jeremy dress up as Jesus and carry a crutch and say he's "Christ on a crutch". :)
We will post a picture of Jeremy soon (and his best friend, Pussy Surprise).
If he lets us.
Monday, October 29, 2007
you tube
Ok, for some awful reason I cannot add our youtube videos to this blog.
(Don't worry - I will keep trying).
But in the meantime... go to youtube and search for Michael Wood or Coby Kay Callahan and watch the madness.
We do this to entertain ourselves, but why not share it with you too?
xoxoxo!
(Don't worry - I will keep trying).
But in the meantime... go to youtube and search for Michael Wood or Coby Kay Callahan and watch the madness.
We do this to entertain ourselves, but why not share it with you too?
xoxoxo!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
We're going to target!
Did you know you have to travel outside of Manhattan to go to Target?
It's worth it. We need things and Target rules.
Traveling through this cold weather though? Not so much fun.
And I am sick already, but I'll keep smiling.
Are you ready yet, Michael? Of course you're not.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Surprises Bitches!
You people are in for the SURPRISE of your lives...
Michael and I just realized we could take photos & record video with our laptops.
Get ready for a new show starting soon called "Have You Met My Crazy Roommate?"
It stars our bears, Valentine Surprise & Little Ted Surprise (aka our alter egos).
They are not related, but they are roommates that moved to the big city together.
Here is a photo from their photo shoot they had tonight for the show:
Michael and I just realized we could take photos & record video with our laptops.
Get ready for a new show starting soon called "Have You Met My Crazy Roommate?"
It stars our bears, Valentine Surprise & Little Ted Surprise (aka our alter egos).
They are not related, but they are roommates that moved to the big city together.
Here is a photo from their photo shoot they had tonight for the show:
holla hallo!
What are you going to be for Halloween?
Michael & I better start working out our costumes.
We'll be in the Village for halloween and the costumes
will be fierce. Can't wait...
Michael & I better start working out our costumes.
We'll be in the Village for halloween and the costumes
will be fierce. Can't wait...
mad at your roommate?
are you mad at your roommate?
just can't take it anymore?
think quietly to yourself,
"he's an asshole,"
"i wish she'd shut the fuck up,"
"i hope he gets a job soon,"
"why did i move here with her"?
well we have a safe and easy way to
release stress without ending your
friendship:
we do what we call lamaze, which is a
heavy breathing, usually associated
with childbirth, but in this case one
may use it to release air instead of
harmful words. sometimes the breathing
is an extremely deep breath, sometimes
they are small little breaths. noise may
be added, depending on the level of
annoyance and anger.
so, good luck living with the person that
used to be your best friend.
"deal with it," as the little bitchy girl
on Kid Nation would say.
Oh! I almost forgot: Stuffed animals
may be used to release the stress as
well. Then it turns funny and you're
bff's again.
try this! i swear it works.
just can't take it anymore?
think quietly to yourself,
"he's an asshole,"
"i wish she'd shut the fuck up,"
"i hope he gets a job soon,"
"why did i move here with her"?
well we have a safe and easy way to
release stress without ending your
friendship:
we do what we call lamaze, which is a
heavy breathing, usually associated
with childbirth, but in this case one
may use it to release air instead of
harmful words. sometimes the breathing
is an extremely deep breath, sometimes
they are small little breaths. noise may
be added, depending on the level of
annoyance and anger.
so, good luck living with the person that
used to be your best friend.
"deal with it," as the little bitchy girl
on Kid Nation would say.
Oh! I almost forgot: Stuffed animals
may be used to release the stress as
well. Then it turns funny and you're
bff's again.
try this! i swear it works.
sushi
if you live in new york, you eat sushi.
i know, it's a douche bag thing to say,
but it's true and it's yummy as hell.
i know, it's a douche bag thing to say,
but it's true and it's yummy as hell.
stuffed animals
no matter how old i get i absolutely 100% still crack up when someone makes a teddy bear (or any stuffed animal) talk.
this is what michael and i do during commercials. sometimes it's so funny we stop watching our show and have to rewind. this happens more than i'd like to admit.
it's funny as shit.
my brother and i used to do this when we were little. we even video taped it, so now michael and i have yet another reason to buy a video camera. look for a youtube video soon. also look for a picture of the stuffed animals on the blog soon. we named them all. you'll see and you'll laugh, unless you are a mature adult. and let's be honest: you're not.
this is what michael and i do during commercials. sometimes it's so funny we stop watching our show and have to rewind. this happens more than i'd like to admit.
it's funny as shit.
my brother and i used to do this when we were little. we even video taped it, so now michael and i have yet another reason to buy a video camera. look for a youtube video soon. also look for a picture of the stuffed animals on the blog soon. we named them all. you'll see and you'll laugh, unless you are a mature adult. and let's be honest: you're not.
I want my next relationship to end like this:
Him: I don't think I can do this anymore.
Coby: Trust me you can't.
*This came out of a long IM conversation earlier in the evening. Thanks S.
Coby: Trust me you can't.
*This came out of a long IM conversation earlier in the evening. Thanks S.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
a simple question requires a simple answer.
(We have a map of the world on our shower curtain and it makes me really happy. Read on...)
Coby: We could study the map and quiz eachother. I like geography. Do you like geography?
Michael: Bye.
Coby: We could study the map and quiz eachother. I like geography. Do you like geography?
Michael: Bye.
sex in the city
Now I know why the real Carrie Bradshaw wrote her column, "Sex in the City" anonymously.
Now I know.
Now I know.
tuesday nights rock!
tuesday nights are fun.
less tourists = more fun.
but the best thing about tonight is this $5 comedy show we go to (thanks to Matthew, whom suggested we check it out - he's the guy we are subletting from this time).
tonight on the roster: Demetri Martin.
he's hil-arious.
can't wait.
then, as our tuesday night ritual, we go to marie's crisis with the tuesday night crew (that's what i call them) and Franca, the pianist. there is usually about 15 of us and we sing all night.
last week the really annoying italian man, who insists on calling me "Maggie" (he got this from A Chorus Line because he's obsessed), spilled an entire beer in my lap. that sucked.
i hope this week he is a little less crazy and a little less in everyone's face.
i am NOT prejudice, but the amount of foreigners in this city is outstanding. i guess i was naive to this fact previous to living here. ask Dawn. she met one. ;)
sometimes i am just in love with the diversity and i smile as i pass a group of people speaking passionately in French or some more obscure language. other times i think to myself, "is it really ok to do that in your country or are you just crazy?"
i love this planet.
less tourists = more fun.
but the best thing about tonight is this $5 comedy show we go to (thanks to Matthew, whom suggested we check it out - he's the guy we are subletting from this time).
tonight on the roster: Demetri Martin.
he's hil-arious.
can't wait.
then, as our tuesday night ritual, we go to marie's crisis with the tuesday night crew (that's what i call them) and Franca, the pianist. there is usually about 15 of us and we sing all night.
last week the really annoying italian man, who insists on calling me "Maggie" (he got this from A Chorus Line because he's obsessed), spilled an entire beer in my lap. that sucked.
i hope this week he is a little less crazy and a little less in everyone's face.
i am NOT prejudice, but the amount of foreigners in this city is outstanding. i guess i was naive to this fact previous to living here. ask Dawn. she met one. ;)
sometimes i am just in love with the diversity and i smile as i pass a group of people speaking passionately in French or some more obscure language. other times i think to myself, "is it really ok to do that in your country or are you just crazy?"
i love this planet.
Monday, October 22, 2007
we fall. a lot.
I am a libra, represented by the scales, but that doesn't mean I have great balance.
Literally my balance sucks. I fall all the time. Sober. All the time.
But every now and then the Gods smile down on me and someone else falls. That someone would be a crazy roommate, Michael.
Last night the Gods smiled as Michael fell off of his bar stool.
It was a close one. He didn't actually hit the floor, but ask him if he's less embarassed...
Literally my balance sucks. I fall all the time. Sober. All the time.
But every now and then the Gods smile down on me and someone else falls. That someone would be a crazy roommate, Michael.
Last night the Gods smiled as Michael fell off of his bar stool.
It was a close one. He didn't actually hit the floor, but ask him if he's less embarassed...
what's your name?
What happens when someone gets your number at a bar and you are drunk as shit and then he texts you and asks you out?
It gets worse: You don't know his name, but you want to go out with him...
Can you go ON A DATE with someone whose name you don't know?
This is Michael's dilemma.
Even worse: Mr. X uses Michael's name all the time. "Hi, Michael,"
"Would you like to go out sometime, Michael."
But the man never says his name because he probably figures that Michale knows his name.
Well, Mr. X, you would be wrong.
It gets worse: You don't know his name, but you want to go out with him...
Can you go ON A DATE with someone whose name you don't know?
This is Michael's dilemma.
Even worse: Mr. X uses Michael's name all the time. "Hi, Michael,"
"Would you like to go out sometime, Michael."
But the man never says his name because he probably figures that Michale knows his name.
Well, Mr. X, you would be wrong.
What are you doing tonight?
Q. What are you doing tonight?A. Makin' it worse for everyone.
Our new motto: Makin' it worse for everyone.
we have a pet unicorn.
We have a pet unicorn.Her name is Unicorn Surprise.
She is awesome.
We bought her very shortly after we moved in NYC.
If you come over you must say "hi" to her. Or get out.
How was your weekend?
Boy OH boy. Where do I start?
Let's start with this: Kris and Jim were in town this weekend and subletted a quaint little apartment in the west village.
Let's just say Michael and I lived half of our weekend in the west village and half at our real home in the east. Yes, currently we are wicked witches of the east.
Once upon a time we lived in the upper west side with all the rich people. I think now we are more where we belong.
As I was saying... we met some great people this weekend, but one in particular stands out because he actually kept up with us. And by "kept up" I mean he never ran out of wit or alcohol or a recycling Jesus joke. His name is Jeremy and he is awesome. Michael & I decided. If you ever sublet, sublet in Jeremy's building. It's fun. Bring scotch.
So, we met Jeremy through Kris and Jim (their sublet), as he was a neighbor.
Friday night we went to the Duplex because they have this fabulous open mic night, if you will, but it's all broadway and piano. I dig it. It rocks. It was a blast. I sang, Kris sang, and lots of other talented people sang. Talented singers in New York? I know! It's crazy talk.
We slept at Jim and Kris'. (Just like old times...)
The next night we went back to the Duplex for some karaoke. It sucked. I remembered why I like live piano so much more. And now I am a piano snob. Karaoke blows and only losers do karaoke because they need the words. (Wow...)
This is boring.
All you need to know s that we think we just had the most fun we've had in NYC thus far. This weekend fucking rocked.
I cried last night when I realized how much I missed Kris. Then he snuck out of the bar and let Jim break the news to me (about how he hates goodbyes, etc.). Some things never change.
Let's start with this: Kris and Jim were in town this weekend and subletted a quaint little apartment in the west village.
Let's just say Michael and I lived half of our weekend in the west village and half at our real home in the east. Yes, currently we are wicked witches of the east.
Once upon a time we lived in the upper west side with all the rich people. I think now we are more where we belong.
As I was saying... we met some great people this weekend, but one in particular stands out because he actually kept up with us. And by "kept up" I mean he never ran out of wit or alcohol or a recycling Jesus joke. His name is Jeremy and he is awesome. Michael & I decided. If you ever sublet, sublet in Jeremy's building. It's fun. Bring scotch.
So, we met Jeremy through Kris and Jim (their sublet), as he was a neighbor.
Friday night we went to the Duplex because they have this fabulous open mic night, if you will, but it's all broadway and piano. I dig it. It rocks. It was a blast. I sang, Kris sang, and lots of other talented people sang. Talented singers in New York? I know! It's crazy talk.
We slept at Jim and Kris'. (Just like old times...)
The next night we went back to the Duplex for some karaoke. It sucked. I remembered why I like live piano so much more. And now I am a piano snob. Karaoke blows and only losers do karaoke because they need the words. (Wow...)
This is boring.
All you need to know s that we think we just had the most fun we've had in NYC thus far. This weekend fucking rocked.
I cried last night when I realized how much I missed Kris. Then he snuck out of the bar and let Jim break the news to me (about how he hates goodbyes, etc.). Some things never change.
Have you met my crazy roommate?
Hey everybody! Have you met my crazy roommate?
I am starting this blog for a few reasons:
a.) We live in NYC and crazy shit happens all the time. It's about time I started documenting some of it. If you don't appreciate curse words and crude stories don't add this onto your favorites list.
b.) My other blog is sweet and lovely, with pictures of sleeping beauty and ariel. I don't want to taint it with the realities of my everyday life.
c.) Because we are awesome.
So... get ready because we had one hell of a weekend!
xoxoxo, from the big apple, coby kay
p.s. Perhaps I will give Michael the pass code to this blog, so he can write fom time to time, but let's be honest: he'll be watching "Brothers and Sisters" and won't have time.
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